How to Hepburn
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Unlike most of us, Hepburn understood intuitively that the
peculiarities of her personality were to be embraced. During her early,
contentious years in Hollywood, people assumed that Hepburn never knew
the unkind things people said about her, for the simple reason that if
she knew, she would have made an effort to change. Because she didn't,
they assumed she was not only ill-dressed and ill-mannered, but
oblivious as well. Really, would it have killed her to don a skirt,
hold her tongue, or powder her nose?
The answer is yes, little
by little it would have. Contrary to the conventional wisdom put forth
today by marketing experts, who've insinuated themselves into every
facet of contemporary life, success does not rest on giving people what
they want. Perhaps this works in the short run, if you are a snack food
(does anyone remember Space Food Sticks or Ice Cream Soda in a can?) or
Britney Spears, but for most human beings it's only good advice if you
want to chip away at your own true self.
Hepburn knew that the
key to success in life and work rested in cultivating her own
personality, and that the key to fully and successfully inhabiting your
life meant embracing every contradictory quality you owned. As her star
rose, she realized she could do anything she pleased as long as she
eluded classification. As she got the hang of Hollywood, she realized
this meant only taking roles that were—or seemed to be—written for her.
If a producer said, "Get me Hepburn!" she determined it would be based
on her singularity and not because she played the best damsel in
distress, or the best wisecracking career girl, or the best doomed
heroine with a terminal disease. She was an early practitioner of
selfbranding. She was the Brand Called Kate.
To compromise that
which she knew to be true about herself, even in the smallest of ways,
would be to initiate the erosion of her singularity. Thus, she worked
her eccentricities. She embraced the contradictions in her nature. She
was happy to be seen as a strange beast.
Several Noted Hepburn Eccentricities, Which She Cultivated
- She was obsessed with flowers. She couldn't relax unless fresh
flowers were in every room. When she repaired to Fenwick from her town
house in New York, she would take the flowers with her. Sometimes, she
could be seen leaping out of the car to pick wildflowers by the side of
the road.
- She was equally obsessed with hydration, both drinking enough water and making sure people urinated frequently.
- She didn't like eating out in restaurants because she found them too
expensive. She ate fast and became anxious when people watched her eat.
Once, in the Cochon d'Or, in Paris, she was so nervous she fainted.
- She kept a fire burning in the fireplace at all times, even in L.A., even in the summer.
- She was conscientious about maintaining her unique "Bryn Mawr" accent.
How else to explain the lack of anything approaching a West Coast
inflection after decades of living off and on in L.A.?
- She took a gazillion showers every day. She made sure everyone knew
about what can only be called a fetish. She also fueled the legend that
she refused to rent a house before she tried out the shower, which
allegedly also meant leaving the rental agent standing in the foyer,
waiting, while Miss Hepburn rinsed off.
- She never sat in a chair if she could help it. Her customary
after-dinner position? Sprawled out on her stomach. "Helps the
digestion."
- For a time her favorite piece of outerwear was the removable liner of a trench coat that she'd found.
- In later life, after the truth about her relationship with Tracy came
out, she was delighted to be known as both an insufferable diva and a
devoted and slavish caretaker.
- At seventy-one she took up jogging. With Greta Garbo, then seventy-three.
It's ironic that in the Golden Age of Hollywood, when both society and
culture were far more circumscribed, when doing your own proverbial
thing, coloring outside the lines, and thinking outside the box were
not considered virtues, actresses of Hepburn's stature strove for
uniqueness. Garbo was pure mystery with her sloe eyes and deep voice.
Bette Davis had that famous mouth, curious diction, and
rock-lyric-inspiring eyes. Lauren Bacall was a homegrown exotic, with
her honey-colored hair and jungle-cat grace.
They all made it
their business to be one of a kind, to strive to be in no one else's
category but their own. How different from today. We are all alleged
non-conformists, with our individual playlists, our sassy bumper
stickers, small-ofthe- back tattoos, and pierced parts. I'm always
reminded of the great scene from Monty Python's Life of Brian. Brian
tells his followers, "You've got to think for yourselves. You're all
individuals!" And the crowd recites, "Yes, we're all individuals!" And
one lone voice in the crowd pipes up in a cockney accent, "I'm not!"
The
truth embedded in this squib of Pythonic satire can be seen in the
behavior of today's top actresses: the first thing they do upon earning
an ounce of fame is go blond and lose weight. More weight, I should
say, because they're probably already thin and lovely, hence the fame.
Even stars whose remarkable heads of hair are an enormous part of their
original appeal don't seem at home in themselves until they've hit the
peroxide. They can't ditch their individuality fast enough.
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